


all of the sorrow wont fit in his chest

by theultimatefangay



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Big angst, M/M, its just some sad peter times, its technically s3 but i wrote it like three months ago so it isnt really accurate anymore, or like... possibly accurate ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 21:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21143156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theultimatefangay/pseuds/theultimatefangay
Summary: Peter Nureyev is sad and bitter and refuses to let himself be hurt again.





	all of the sorrow wont fit in his chest

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this so long ago but I somehow managed to nail Peter's narration and I have no clue how.

This time Juno falls asleep first. I spend hours watching him, his face highlighted softly by the faint glow of the stars through the spaceship window. I do my best to memorize every detail, the way his curls fall across his forehead, the scars tracing the path of his past, the curve of his lips.

He holds my hand in his, clutching it close to his chest. This man who I so readily trusted, with my name, my heart, my life. This incredible lady who I fell in love with, and who was too much of a coward to say it back.

I still love him, of course. Even if he did break my heart. I don’t think I could stop even if I wanted to. Because of the glint in his eye when he’s figured out the missing piece in a case, or the kindness that he carries no matter how hard he tries to hide it, or the way he looks coming apart under my hands, or how he makes me feel like I’ve finally found a home. He’s blinding.

I know that I can’t stay. I wish I could, but I won’t make myself vulnerable like that again. I cannot afford that weakness.

So I watch, and I memorize. I will see him again yes, but never like this, never soft and unguarded and just for me. This is my own personal treasure, worth more than any coin or jewel. After a long while I gently slip my hand out of his. I crawl out of the bed, _his_ bed, and gather my clothes.

I pause in the doorway and turn back for one final look at him. He’s still asleep, but the hand that was holding mine has moved. It is now sprawled across the bed, as if reaching for a body that isn’t there anymore. I have not walked this path before.

Juno has.

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to @watfordwallflower on tumblr, I would like never write anything without her


End file.
